Ah, another February 2nd beckons! We woke up this morning, all ready for our annual Groundsheep Day ritual. Scott retrieved the eponymous ovine from his lair atop my office bookcase (cue the ominous music). But when we looked out our front door, we saw that the county Animal Control Office was ready for us this year:
Well, that was a bit of a downer. We considered letting Shearson outside anyway, figuring that he could probably eat a few battalions before the artillery fire took him out. But ultimately we decided against it, as we didn't want our flower gardens to get napalmed. We decided a change of venue was in order. Leaving an angry Mary Beth to deal with the tank commanders who made a mess of our front yard (and believe me, given the choice between the two, the National Guard would prefer to face Shearson), Scott and I and the groundsheep hopped into my truck and made a break for it.
A few hours later, we arrived at where the action usually takes place this time of year:
We followed the TV trucks to the town park. There was already a huge crowd gathered there, not to mention all those heavy-set guys in tuxedoes and top hats. We grabbed Shearson and made our way to the front of the throng just as Punxsutawney Phil made his appearance.
As per custom, it was announced that if the groundhog saw his shadow, there would be six more weeks of winter. Then they let him loose on the grass, and we did the same with the groundsheep.
Also as per custom, Shearson promptly ate him.
The top-hatted guys were taken aback, but they had a contingency plan. They called in the backups:
Yeah, you guessed it. Shearson ate them too.
Shrugging their shoulders, the officials declared that Team Groundhog had been dispatched far too quickly for any of them to have seen its shadow. Therefore, there would be an early spring! The head guy picked up Shearson carefully -- very carefully -- and declared him Honorary Groundhog for the Day!
So all in all, it was a successful morning. Well, except for the bill that the mayor handed us on our way out of town, because the $%^&* groundsheep had to have a snack for the road:
Stupid sheep. Oh well, take care and stay warm. Same time next year?
- Nick, Scott, Shearson, and the NJ National Guard
(Thanks to ELW for the idea for this year's storyline!)